The topic of this blog is "This is Just to Say... tell a story about yourself that needs to be told." Its a post that I have been putting off until right now which is literally the last minute that I can do it, because I cant think of a good story about myself that fulfills the post requirements. I guess the best I can think of is that in a really catholic family I'm atheist.  Growing up my mother was very religious. Her family was strict roman catholic because  both her parents grew up in Italy which just in general is religious.  My dad was religious not because his whole family was, in fact his mother wasn't very religious at all until she got older and her kids started taking her to church.  My dad was religious because when he was little his dad would take his kids to church every Sunday morning until they got older and started protesting having to spend up to two hours every weekend in a stuffy building that smelled of old people and smoke. My dad found faith again when his dad died. My grandfather died when my dad was 20 I believe. Because of their religion my parents tried to raise us the same way.  My little siblings just accepted it but I never did.  I am not saying that I have a problem with people that have religion. Theres a stigma about atheists that we all hate religion and think people are stupid for believing in a god.  While there are those people, people that hate exist everywhere. People from one religions hate people who believe in something different. I always hate telling people I'm atheist because I can see how they look at me change to "Ohhh she's one of THOSE assholes, better not say anything at all." That bothers the hell out of me because I am actually quite happy for people who found religion. If that's where people find solace or happiness that's fabulous! I know my mother whenever she has a problem prays and she feels better, that's just not me.  There was so much I never understood about religion, one of those things being that a religion that preaches "love thy neighbor" says well only love thy neighbor if they are straight.  I've always have friends who were different, gay, transgender, whatever they are.  I loved them but the religion that my parents where trying to teach me said that it was wrong. That they should go to church and the gay would leave them, as if it was a disease that being preached to would fix rather than how you were born. My true denial of faith happened in about sixth grade.  Going to church just made me uncomfortable. I didn't believe it and I felt like these beliefs were being shoved down my throat and choking me. Even though I didn't want to go I went religiously (ha) to church with my parents and religion classes every Wednesday because my parents wanted me to and it made them happy, but It didn't make me happy. in eighth grade I made my confirmation and FINALLY it was done. But it wasn't. I didn't really escape it until tenth grade in fact when finally one morning when my mom was yelling at me to get up for church it just blurted out of my mouth. "mom in not religious!" After I said it I was shocked at myself. I didn't know what to do, my mom didn't know what to do, she started crying and yelling and me that I was ridiculous and said sooo many statements along the lines of "the familys religious and you are too!" It was like coming out as gay in a homophobic family. But at the same time I finally felt free. One of the biggest secrets that I had been keeping for 6 years was free. I didn't have to hide it. My mom finally calmed down and what did she do, but pray. In that she found the answer that it had to be MY choice, I was old enough to decide and it would be wrong of her to force me. My dad had a harder time but my mom told him to stop it and accept it and he accepted it. (Sorta) My choice to not be religious I don't actually think defines me but it is a part of me. I find answers in thinking. In my choices I have free will. I choose my fate and I love all my friends for who they are. And I am happy.